incredible music plays
Good morning boys and girls. I’m baaaaaaaack!! I was a little to busy/lazy to do the news for a while now, but i feel like and i have free time so here we go. A lot has been going on since i last reported the humor in the news. Swine flu is now the hot topic, but i refuse to talk about it because i think it is highly overratted, but that’s beyond the point.
In November, 10 gunmen went on a killing rampage in India and nine of them were killed. The one remaining gunman claimed to be 17 at the time and therefore should’ve been tried as a minor. A minor would only be allowed to face 3 years maximum in jail, but unfortunately for the dude, xray’s and teeth showed that he was at least 20……… at least thats wat they told the judge. So now shooting dude can now face the death penalty.
A limo driver that was supposed to take some kids to the prom, was drunk. The teens saw the driver and suspected that he was drunk and refused to get in. Smart girls. I rode on the bus with a guy that was obviously drunk, in st. vincent. and you know how those drivers are crazy when they are sober. It was a fun ride though. Anyway, the kids called their parents and their parents called the police and the driver was arrested.
This next story is a little strange to me. A man tried to miscarriage his wife by giving her ulcar medication and is sentenced to almost 10 years in jail. This is what fox news had to say:
“Master Sgt. Demetrius Lester says Boie was convicted in a court-martial Friday night of attempting to kill an unborn child.”
um…….. but…….um……… ISN’T THAT WHAT ABORTIONS DOCTORS DO? So its wrong if the father chooses to kill the baby in the womb, but its fine if the mother chooses to? How unfair is that? And i thought when its in the womb its not a real person. Why cant you people make up your mind?
A man was stuck on a roof in sydney and the police suspected that he was trying to rob the factory. They spent 3 hours trying to get him off the roof and then arrested him after all that drama. They are assuming that he was robbing the place but i KNOW he was. How do i know that? “He was carrying a helmet with a light, bolt cutters, a small ladder, backpack, tarpaulin, ropes and harnesses.” Oh i was just going for a walk with all these things that people normally walk around with and i ended up on this roof that i cant get off by accident while taking a walk. yea right!
A legally blind man who is the editor of a hiking magazine went missing when he went hiking. They found him eventually, but what is wrong with that guy? If you know you have a disability and you want to go prove something, then go with someone else who can help you in case of anything. Pride is a dumb thing.
The police force had a “take your child to work” day and this officer used a stun gun and stunned at least two kids because he said that parents told him to. He was later fired.
Hey joe, shock my s0n with 50,000 volts of electricity…….. ok james…. BUUZZZTSSSSSS
The porn star is still trying to be a state senate.
Michelle Obama wore shoes costing about $540 dollars to feed that poor…. and that madet he news. Why is that an issue? she is the presidents wife. If she wore a $5 sneaker, then people would have something to say about that. If i were her, i would go with the more expensive one. Those people are homeless, and she isnt. They should go get a job. this is america. Work in Mcdonalds. You have no where to go, so you could work a ridiculous amount of hours and get a cheap apartment somewhere and get on your feet. I know poor people who would spend that much money on a pair of shoes. Why make a big deal about the shoe that she wears?
a 10 year old girl got burns on 70% of her body……from TANNING!
first, what is a 10 year old doing tanning?
second, WHAT IS A 10 YEAR OLD DOING TANNING???
i don’t need a second. She shouldnt be looking for boys. She shouldnt be caring too much about appearance yet. WHY?
well here is your answer. “curiosity”
she has to stay out of direct sunlight for the next ten years now becuase she was curious. Her mother is the one that should be blamed. Look at a picture of her with her mother and you would see why.
A six year old girl was seriously injured, like seriiiiiiously injured. Her intestines were showing, and a guy took a four day trip with her to Australia so that she could get the help she needed. Did i mention that her intestines were showing? That’s sick. She got the injury from falling out a classroom window and falling on a hibiscus tree.
There will be no weather or sports news today because i need to go do some important stuff, so have a good day. I’m out like trout.
